Ali Khan Peak Performance Coaching

 

In 1960, at Stanford University, an experiment with some four-to- six-year-old children took place. Each child was given one marshmallow on a plate. They were told that if they ate the marshmallow right away it would be okay, but if they waited for fifteen minutes, as a reward, they would get two marshmallows.

The researchers noticed that most of the children could not wait for the second marshmallow. But some kids did. Then the researchers tracked the progress of those kids in life. Years later, they were amazed to see that the children who managed to delay their gratification had much higher SAT scores, better Body Mass Index, and overall greater life success compared to the kids who pursued instant gratification. Even many years later they found that, in general, the kids who resisted their urges for the future reward became more professionally competent and successful than the other group!

Of course, this has nothing to do with eating two marshmallows and thereby becoming successful. It is the self-control of holding one back from instant reward and the willpower to focus on future gain gave them the extra edge in life. All the successful people on earth had to practice this sacrifice of instant benefit to obtain higher level of reward.

Most people are continually focusing on the immediate benefit. That’s why it’s not overcrowded at the top.

Whenever human beings can’t see the way, they take two typical courses of action. One is giving up. This way they instantly send the possibilities to the graveyard. The other one is HOPE that they will somehow figure it out. Hope is the ultimate power of human beings when things don’t look favorable.

Victor Frankl, a famous twentieth-century psychiatrist, was locked up in a Nazi concentration camp. Before and during World War II, these concentration camps were places where millions of ordinary people were imprisoned as part of the war effort; they were often starved, tortured, and killed.

During his daily life in the camp, Frankl noticed there was a powerful correlation between survival and hope. He noticed that people who lost the hope to survive the camp somehow died within a short period of time. On the other hand, those who were not failing in hope somehow managed to escape or to stay alive longer, some even achieving liberation in time.

Hope serves us the courage we need when we have no visible sign of success. We may not always be able to choose our condition, but we certainly have the power to decide to be hopeful or hopeless.

Every single child is born with infinite possibilities to triumph in life. Due to the unhelpful external world, however, that potential remains a seed in its entire being. From the outer world, a child discovers a powerful word called “limitation.”

When children head into this world, this word is not part of their means, but after time, kids grasp it from their surroundings. The more they absorb it, the more limited they become. Thus, the majority of children grow up to live lives similar to the biographies of the people around them.

There are a few, a very few, who don’t. They say NO to the crowd. They are the ones who live at the peak of their life.

Every journey of a dream starts with a Decision.

The origin of the word "Decision" is a Latin word, which means,

“to cut off.” Therefore, making a decision is about “cutting off” any other choices or course of action.

Once we have decided that’s it, there is no seat back or keep changing goals.

In this journey of growth seldom we may need to change or adjust the method to accomplish the goal but we will not change the goal.

Now the question is from where I will start?

As they say "the journey of a thousand miles began with a single step."

Start from the most accessible option available right now. No matter how small or simple it may seem at this moment. Just stay on the path, keep the momentum on, indeed, more doors will open along the way.

In life, many of us take this first step. We do so with much excitement. Down the line, though, we lose the faith on the path of our dream. We come back to our “reality,” we stop the journey and consequently, we never meet our destiny.

American poet and philosopher Henry David Thoreau affirmed;

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

Ali Khan
Author, Peak Performance Coach, Certified Life Coach.
www.alipeakperformance.com

Source: The Divine Dots, A Transformational Novel. By Ali Khan

Our inner beliefs play a dominant role in the way we perceive this world. When we have certain types of beliefs inside our psyche, they don’t just stay and sleep within us. They create a powerful bias within us to gather relevant logic to protect as well as establish the beliefs we have.

Michael Shermer, in his book The Believing Brain states that “we form our beliefs from a variety of subjective, personal, emotional, and psychological reasons in the context of environments created by family, friends, colleagues, culture, and society at large.

After forming our beliefs, we then defend, justify, and rationalize them with a host of intellectual reasons, cogent arguments, and rational explanations. Beliefs come first, explanations for beliefs follow.”

Therefore, our beliefs unconsciously control a great deal of our life. If we want to change our present circumstance, the very first thing we have to alter is the beliefs we have regarding the world. If we think our external environment is full of trouble and misfortune, then our life will be articulated just as a victim of the situation. We will find more evidence that relates to this, and gradually our perception will turn into a dominant belief. The rest will be taken care of as a consequence.

When we change the belief system of a person, that person changes himself.

The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe. -Albert Einstein

Bijoy also recalled that he learned from that seminar that our destiny vastly depends on the thought we have been thinking the majority of the time. It is our predominant thoughts which form our beliefs; our beliefs dominate our perceptions, logic, and interpretation of the world. Therefore, they control almost every action we take. Our life is nothing but the reflection of our predominant actions.

Various sages who walked in the face of this planet emphasized the power of our thoughts to draw our fortune.

Change your thoughts, and you’ll change your world. -Norman Vincent Peale

Genius is the patience of thoughts, concentrated in a certain direction.

-Sir Isaac Newton

You become what you think about all day long. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking. -Albert Einstein

What you think you become, what you feel you attract, what you imagine you create. -Buddha

This is just to mention a few of them. 

(Source: The Divine Dots, A Transformational Novel)

Source: The Divine Dots, A Transformational Novel. By Ali Khan

Basically, there are two levels of our mind: the conscious mind and the subconscious mind which is also known as unconscious mind. Our conscious mind is the objective or thinking mind. The conscious mind is continually helping us to act or decide to respond accordingly by examining and categorizing what is going on around us. According to the famous neurologist and the founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, “the conscious mind consists of everything inside of our awareness. This is the aspect of our mental processing that we could think and talk rationally.” This explanation indicates that our conscious mind is the logical mind; it mostly operates by rationalizing.

If the conscious mind were the only level of our consciousness, then we should always do the logically right and useful thing all the time. Instead, in many instances, we know what is right and what we should or shouldn’t do, but still, we habitually do things that are not only not helpful but harmful to us. Why? It’s because there is another aspect of our mind called the subconscious mind that also has a very great and significant influence on our behavior, actions, and thoughts. This subconsciousness works like a recorded disk. It doesn’t follow logic and right or wrong; it plays based on what has been recorded on it.

In fact, according to most researchers in the field of the mind, the subconscious mind controls more than ninety percent of our attitudes, actions, and behavior. We tend to think we are operating our life consciously and logically, but the majority of our activities are conducted unconsciously. Hence, it would not be wrong to affirm that our subconscious is continually controlling and shaping our destiny.

Sigmund Freud often used the metaphor of an iceberg to describe these two aspects of the human mind. The tip of the iceberg is like the conscious mind, which is apparent in the big ocean. But beneath it there is a huge mass of ice, which is supporting it to float and stay steady in the immense ocean. This hidden shape represents our subconscious mind.

Whenever it comes to behavioral or psychological cures, we often treat the symptoms of the problem. We provide reasoning for why something is a wrong thing to do. The individual gets convinced and decides to change. He or she starts to change, but the most common dilemma is that after a while, the person begins to follow their previous pattern, because we were mostly work on the tip of the iceberg. Consequently the change does not last. The individual gets frustrated and desperate. Often, they look for logic or an excuse to remain unchanged. Or, they try to blame someone or something else so they can continue their unhealthy acts.

We wonder why, but we cannot find the reason. We become depressed. But the “why” is not what we are seeking; if the problem is in the root, treating the fruits will not produce lasting results. Indeed, the subconscious mind is the ultimate root of our periodic actions and behaviors. Just like the bottom of the iceberg it is immensely more powerful than the conscious mind when it comes to long-term changes. It vigorously dominates why we do what we do.

For example, people want to lose weight. Unquestionably, the solution to losing extra pounds is not a hidden secret only available to a few fortunate people in the world. We all know that we have to eat healthfully and move more to get in the desired shape. That’s it. There is no other valid strategy for long-term results. So how come losing weight has become a billion-dollar business but people are still struggling? It’s because we are not treating the root. The origin of the problem mainly sits in the subconscious programming of the mind, which is controlling most of our actions. That’s why after using those expensive tools, we may lose weight, but soon we give up and return to where we were when the underneath programming starts to call. If any behavioral pattern exists within us for an extended period of time, it becomes a part of our subconscious blueprint. Without altering the blueprint, if we treat the conscious, logical mind, then it will be a temporary solution that eventually leads to a higher level of frustration.

This paradigm doesn’t only apply to the weight-loss case. It’s the dominating factor behind every behavior, attitude, thought, belief, and action we repeatedly do.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz, in his best-selling book Psycho-Cybernetics, described this subconscious blueprint as our “self-image.” He said,

“Self-Image is the common denominator—the determining factor in all our case histories, the failures as well as the success.”

That means that in order to change any unwanted action and behavior, to improve our relationships, our professional, financial, or other growth for an extended period of time, our conscious desire has to be planted in our subconscious blueprint.

How does one plant things in the subconscious mind?

We have to go through a few fundamental processes in this journey of change. We have to have a strong desire for the change; just wishing or hoping will not be enough. Author Napoleon Hill names it “Burning Desire.” The intensity of the emotion to change is a crucial factor here.

In his book Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill states,

“The starting point of all achievement is DESIRE. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small fire makes a small amount of heat.”

Once we have the desire in place, then we must maintain repetition of the actions toward change until they have been thoroughly planted into our subconscious mind. Then a new pattern/programming will be built into the subconscious mind, and it will become second nature.

By this process, we can master any skill, change any unpleasant behavior, and take control of our lives to carry it to the place we have always desired and deserve to be. Total immersion is the last and most important thing while we are following the entire procedure. Immersion confirms the constant action, without any gap in between, so that the previous pattern does not get any chance to indulge.

Earl Nightingale, the famous American author, stated,

“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.”

It looks like lots of work. Maybe it is. If we want to get rid of a problem that has existed for many years, we may suffer this pain of discipline. Otherwise, we might need to experience the pain of regret the rest of our life.

Indeed, within your subconscious depths lay infinite wisdom, infinite power, and the infinite supply of all that necessary, which are waiting for development and expression.

- Joseph Murphy, Ph.D.

Children are born with mostly the subconscious mind in place; they develop the conscious, logical mind as they age. In the early stages of their lives, the subconscious mind stays open and fresh.

If you tell kids to do something, it goes to the conscious mind so they may not remember. But if you tell them who they are, they never forget.

Thus, if a child is continuously being told that he or she is a waste of time or not worthy enough, these types of statements go directly into that young, subconscious blueprint. The child starts to believe them and slowly becomes that person. It is not only detriment the childhood of that individual but it also destroys the self-esteem of the person, and he or she will carry this programming throughout their entire life. Many children are the victims of their parents, teachers, and the friends around them through this process.

Healing can take place once the conscious mind is strong enough to work to condition the subconscious mind and to grow the desire for change.

Bijoy is a young boy in a remote Bangladeshi village where the legacy of hardship is passed from generation to generation. But a distinct dream has been handed to this little soul by his father: Bijoy will break the cycle of poverty through education. His tiny heart embraces the dream without knowing the price he will endure for this vision. Inevitably, every triumph comes with a price. But Bijoy didn't accept this cost as a choice; he followed it as it was the only means to escape. When every door closes, Bijoy and his mother must embark on the unknown. At every turn, Bijoy is both aided and puzzled by the mysterious plots of destiny. Where will this hostile journey steer Bijoy? What is adversity striving to profess? Spanning two continents and several decades, Bijoy’s dramatic journey captivates the reader through each twist and turn as he deals with poverty, danger, oppression, unusual breakthroughs, and love, and gains precious wisdom on life along the way. Ultimately, his greatest struggle is an existential one: finding peace with the hand life dealt him.